Friends Only


Hi! You've reached a placeholder page for my journal because I keep it friends only. That's a bummer, isn't it? I'm sorry. I know you're terribly disappointed.

But I have my reasons. I keep this journal friends only due to the level of personal information I disclose, and the fact that I am brutally honest about my life, which sometimes makes people angry. Ah well. I know a lot of you are probably like "Um the whole point of an LJ is to have it be public, not private." This is probably true for some people, but I'm not here to socialize. I'm not really a very social person. I'm pretty much not friendly. I keep this as a true and detailed record of my daily life, not to have eight million "friends" I barely know.

This is not to say I won't let anyone friend me. Comment if you'd like to be added, I might consider; I just don't like the masses seeing my personal life. But be warned: I update a lot, sometimes several times a day, and I really do post what I did that day and how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. This journal isn't for being friends. It's for me to see how I am changing over time.


Sherlock reading
A Work In Progress

Latest Month

July 2006
"You can tell
From the scars on my arms
And the cracks in my hips
And the dents in my car
And the blisters on my lips
That I'm not the carefullest of girls...
I am not so seroius
This passion is a plagarism
I might join your century--
But only on a rare occasion
I was taken out
Before the labor pains set in and now
Behold the world's worst accident:
I am the girl anachronism"
--Dresden Dolls

"No matter what we do
No matter what we say
With the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
The sun will always shine
Tomorrow we might wake up
On the other side
On the other time
We are beautiful, in every single way
Words can't bring us down"
--Elvis Costello

"I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know, but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one"
--Meredith Brooks

"What have I become?
My sweetest friend!
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way"

"I've been down
And I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around
With me
With me
It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home"

"Tell me
Did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?
And tell me
Did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And did you miss me
While you were looking for yourself out there?"

"I'm upset
Happiness is not a fish
That you can catch
Imagination can't resist
The laziness
That pins you down
Get on your knees
Everyone you meet today
Is feeling useless and ashamed..."
--Our Lady Peace

"So believe in me
Believe in them
You think I'll let you down?
Well I won't
They can fire everything they've got
What do you think?
I'm sunk?
I will float on
(...and die)
I have burned the bush that covered my light
And now I'm scared I won't burn that bright
You won't know
You won't know"
--Brand New

"I am a new day rising
I'm a brand new sky
To hang the star upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?
It's times like these you learn to live again"
--Foo Fighters

"How dare you say that my behavior's unnacceptable?
So condescending
Unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step
'Cause if I do you'll need a miracle"
--Maroon 5

"I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here"

"On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I pack this car and leave this town
You'll notice that I'm not around
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwhere'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway
Like a dream you try to remember
But it's gone
Then you try to scream
But it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world
Beyond your front door"
--Barenaked Ladies

"We are entirely smooth
We admit to the truth
We are the best at what we do
And these are the words you wish you wrote down
This is the way you wish your voice sounds
Handsome and smart
Oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
That works harder than my heart
And it's all from watching TV
And from speeding up my breathing
Wouldn't stop if I could
Oh it hurts to be this good"
--Brand New

"Your eyes
Never close your eyes
And open up your mind
Oh, and baby
You could have everything

"Don't sit there and play just
So frank, so straight, so candid
So thoughtful, so gracious
So sound, so even-handed
Don't be so damn benign
And don't waste my fucking time"
--Ok Go

"Well that is that and this is this
Will you tell me what you saw
And I'll tell you what you missed
When the ocean met the sky
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye
When the earth folded in on itself
And I said, 'Good luck,
I hope for your sake heaven and hell
Are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath.'
You wasted life,
Why wouldn't you waste death?"
--Modest Mouse

"I wonder what it's like to be the rainmaker
I wonder what it's like to know that I make the rain
I'd store it in boxes
With little yellow tags on everyone
And you can come see them when I'm done
When I'm done"
--Matchbox 20

"But I'm not broken
In my dream I win
And I take over
'Cause I'm no loser
And I'm in and you're not
The bad dreams don't stop
But I'm all screwed up
A cosmic castaway"

"And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very mad world..."
--Gary Jules

"The soul, the screen, the smoke in between
The rise, the fall, the thrill of
The first, the last, the sins of the past
The burn, the fade, the skin that you've flayed
Come see the sun
Kill everyone
But me
I'm free
--Twilight Singers

"I got my head
But my head is unraveling
Cna't keep control
Can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart
But my heart's no good
You're the only one that's understood
I come along
But I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go
But you're wrenching, dragging, shaking me
Turn off the sun
Pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you
The more I die
And I want you"

"Are you all right?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you all right?
I wish you'd give me a little clue
Are you all right?
Is there something you wanna say?
Are you all right?
Just tell me that you're okay
Are you all right?
'Cause you took off without a word
Are you all right?
'Cause it seems like you disappeared
Are you all right?"
--Lucinda Williams

"See I'm not your friend
And I won't pretend
That I've come here for peace
Well, I'm not afraid
I'm gonna make you pay
I'm gonna wipe that smile off your face....
The time has come
To drop the bomb
On all the pain you've been selling
See I don't like you
Or your attitude
Or the company that you keep
And I'm gonna wipe that smile off your face"
--Our Lady Peace

"They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
And the world is still sleepin'
While I keep on dreamin' for me
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I'll never believe
And I want a moment to be real
I want to touch things I don't feel
I want to hold on
And feel I belong
And how can they say I never change?
They're the ones that stay the same!
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here"
--Johnny Rzeznik

"Somewhere from the edge of time
When the poets die
The words don't rhyme
I'll call you up and say
'We made it okay'
And somewhere in the back of your mind
When you see your demons come to life
And the world just fades away
You'll know it's okay"

"We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears
I wish you were here"
--Pink Floyd

"The farther I fall
I'm beside you
As lost as I get
I will find you
The deeper the wound
I'm inside you
For ever and ever
I'm a part of
You and me
We're in this together now
None of them can stop us now
We will make it through somehow
You and me
If the world should break in two
Until the very end of me
Until the very end of you"

"Oh gravity
Stay the hell away from me!
Gravity has taken better men than me
Now how can that be?
Just keep me where the light is"
--John Mayer

"Cut my tongue out
I've been caught up
Like a giant juggernaut
Happy hours
Golden showers
On a cruise to freak you out
We could fly a helicopter
Nothing left to talk about
Entertain you
Celebrate you
I'll be back to frame you
When I grow up
I'll be stable
When I grow up
I'll turn the tables"

"So don't you rescue me
I'm blocked in the black of my mind
(Help me please)
So don't get stuck on me
My fuck-up is keeping me blind
(Save me please)...
So don't you rescue me
I still feel the thorn in my side
(Help me please)
So don't you set me free
No chance for a turn of the tide
(Save me please)
Tossing and turning
You know 'bout this burning
This fever you cannot deny
So swallow your frown, my love
And follow me down, my love
Follow me down
Powered by
Designed by Tiffany Chow